I’ve been watching a show on Hulu called ”Dating Tips from My Future Self”. It’s a fun, quirky, short show (each episode is 10 minutes or less!) about this girl who works for an App developer. She shares an idea one day in staff meeting about an app that helps you make decisions— a Customized Magic 8 Ball, if you will. Well, the idea quickly gets shot down as ridiculous. Yet, later that same day, she gets a text message from an UNKNOWN number, who we quickly discover is her 10-years-in-the-future-self, telling her to dump her current boyfriend/almost-fiancee because he’s a jerk. Only 4 episodes in, we find out he IS an actual jerk (I mean, who calls his fiancee “childish”?!) and so many doors have been opened for them. Of course you just have to ignore the whole space/time continuum issues…. but overall I think it’s a brilliant idea!

Now, I know I missed my “official” day to post a letter to my teenage self, so I hope the other girls at Via forgive me, but here is my attempt:

***

Dear Me,

The summer of your sixteenth birthday is going to be amazing. Really, it’s going to be the kickstart of your life and knowing how things are going to be nearly fourteen years later (yes, you’re alive at the age of almost-30!) I can tell you that it’s certainly worth it. This summer you’re going to travel A LOT, get your first boyfriend, and find your life’s calling. But you’re going to experience all of that soon enough. What I’d like to do is give you a few rules to follow in the coming years— and I know how much you like rules!

Rule #1: Break some rules! Not big ones, mind you. We don’t want to know what life is like in prison, now do we? No. But bend some. Stay out late, don’t do an assignment, skip class (for reasons outside of Yearbook and Hi-STEP). Learn to have a little fun.

Rule #2: Don’t be so serious! Seriously. Lighten up. You’re so serious about grades and boyfriends and work and sports and friends that there’s no time to really experience a lot. 

Rule #3: Don’t get too involved/attached too quickly. You haven’t met your first boyfriend yet so you don’t know what I’m talking about, but you soon will. You will NOT marry him. Or the one (or two or three or four) after that. Believe me, waiting for the one we eventually marry is TOTALLY. WORTH. EVERY. MOMENT. And you’ll probably cry less. Especially your senior year. Trust me.

Rule #4: Don’t date that guy your junior year of college. It was a bad idea. Everyone knows it, they just won’t tell you until AFTER you break up with him. 

Rule #5: Travel as much as possible. I’ll tell you right now that going the places we’ve been is life altering— especially Africa the summer after your sophomore year of college. It’s important to get those stamps in your passport. It’ll mean something in the future to look back at all the places you went BY YOURSELF. And it’ll make it easier planning trips in the future— you won’t be so scared to go to far off wonderful places. 

Rule #6: Learn how to wear make-up. And tweeze your eyebrows. LIKE NOW. Fo realz, yo. Get yourself a nice, sharp pair and a magnifying mirror and go to town. 

I’m sure there’s more I can/should tell you but I’m not going to. A little bit of mystery is important in life. But know this: You have an absolutely wonderful life here in 2012. You have a husband who loves you, a job that has it’s quirks but is awesome altogether, and a home full of animals that’s warm and just what you make it. 

So happy sweet 16, me. Enjoy the daisies from your folks and the balloons in your hair at TGIFriday’s… but be careful walking to the bathroom— there’s a ceiling fan in that restaurant that might just rip out all that hair if you’re not careful!

Love, The-Almost-30-You

This has been cross-posted at my personal blog, WaltersWorld

Dear 16 year old Me,

I’ve watched enough time-travel themed science fiction to be a little terrified to write this letter.  If a butterfly flaps its wings and all that, you know what I mean. I love the life that I am living right now enough to not want to change a single thing about the past that brought me here.  Which should be encouraging to you since this awesome life will someday be yours.  

But it also sort of sucks for you, 16 year old Me, because things are not going to be easy.  Along with being fantastically awesome, they are going to be complicated and painful and confusing.  No matter how scared I am of accidentally changing my now by changing the past, I do very much want to take the edge off some of the hurt you are going to experience.

So maybe just some suggestions for you along the way.

You are a nerd.  Not a cool kid, a nerd.  The sooner stop fighting it, embrace eality and sort of just lay back into it, the better it will be for you and for everyone around you.  Believe it or not, at some point in the future it will be fantastically cool to be nerdy and you will take great pride in your nerdy sensibility.

You will never stop hating to exercise.  Suck it up and do it anyway. 

Don’t date a boy just because he shows interest or because it is convenient.  And don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about.  *Give you the knowing grown up stare*  It just keeps ending up the way it has so far.  Instead, pursue the boys you like even if they don’t like you back.  Learn how to flirt and talk to them with some level of confidence, because if you can do that, you are going to end up a lot less bitter and more able to build relationships with guys in the future.

Don’t paint your room that color!  It will forever look like you live inside of a pastel dinner mint. 

You are going to hate this next bit, and I’m sorry for that.  If it helps, I don’t want to write it very much either.  You need to break some rules.  Not big ones.  Don’t commit any felonies or permanently injure yourself pulling some sort of crazy stunt.  But you and I both know you are way, WAY too uptight for a 16 year old and scared to disappoint the people you love and you create these rules in your head because you think rules give you some kind of control in keeping everything the way it is supposed to be.  It doesn’t work that way.  I’m just finding out at almost 30 that doing things as perfectly as you can doesn’t automatically mean your life will be perfect.  So ask to go to that concert.  Dye your hair some crazy color.  Buy clothes with some character.  Make new friends.  Pierce something.  Don’t get out of the habit of wearing makeup.  Go out on the weekends.  Oh, and consequently, Mom and Dad are totally okay with you getting out there a little bit.  Christina and Alex are going do it and they don’t even bat an eyelash.

Invest in really nice suitcases.  You are going to get to travel a lot in the future and the only bummer will be your crappy suitcases.

Don’t stop writing.  You’ll get better the more you do it.

If you know nothing else, know that even when things get tough and you are unsure, you are never alone and you are always loved.  You have a great family, great friends now and in the future.  It won’t change what’s going on around you, but it will get you through.  

Oh, and don’t grow your hair out.  It looks good short, just learn to part it to the side.  

Good luck,

Future Julianna

This is also posted at my blog, Senseless Proportion.

Dear Hannah,

Happy graduation day! In a few morning, you’ll be waking up and beginning your day and getting ready to celebrate the momentous achievement of graduating high school.

Here are a few tips:

1) About two hours before you take your shower, the well will go dry, prompting you to have to go to a neighbor’s house to shower and your church to blow dry your hair. Your hair. Will. Look. Ridiculous (Since you’re living in 2000 and I’m from the future, you probably don’t know about the period. after. every. word. phenomenon. Get. Excited.) So, shower right away after you wake up. THAT way the person you were going to have fix your hair can do it so that for all the rest of your life, your graduation pictures won’t have you resembling a lady with a furry animal attacking her head.

Also: how about you discover mousse sooner than 2005? It’s too late for high school, but that will help with the big hair dilema all through college. I promise.

2) Go to the graduation party at Julie’s house. I know, I know… I’m encouraging you to break the laws! But, seriously, go, be social. The good, cautious girl that you are probably won’t have anything but soda and it will probably give you some good opportunities to spend time with friends you won’t see any more in not so short a time. It could also give you the opportunity to have a really fun summer and let’s face it, your two closest friends are seriously dating boys and spoiler alert (you don’t know about those either, do you?) they’re going to get married to them and you don’t really keep in touch with them after freshmen year of college or hang out with them much Summer of 2000 either. So. Go hang out with Kari and Katie and the Travises. You’ll be glad you did. 

Now—about college:

Here’s the deal. Please, please, please, dear God please, don’t cut your hair off the week before. You will not look as chic as you think and it will be very high maintenance and you will spend the rest of the year growing it back to a proper length. Plus, Nebraska is cold, yo. And if the first warning isn’t enough… cutting it and dying it red during your Junior year does not suit you either. TRUST ME. 

You’re going to love college (which is probably no surprise to you). You’re going to love the new people, the learning— academia in general. You’re going to meet some really awesome lifelong friends that you’ll keep in touch until at least 2012 when you’re on the cusp of turning 30. Invest in those friendships, learn how to handle drama constructively, go on adventures with that Matt boy (but don’t date him) you meet second semester, read lots of interesting books, figure out a way to study abroad, work at Camp CILCA, just have some experiences! Gain some confidence in yourself and who you are—because, honey, you’re pretty awesome. 

Remember that most challenges are able to be overcome. You’ll go through a few of them from 18 until 30, but if you remember to handle them with grace and patience, it’ll serve you well. Also, don’t buy that VW Beetle in 2005. That is a really bad purchase. Pay off your student loans and THEN sell Leon (your neon). 

It may also surprise you that at some point in your late 20’s, that you’ll discover that you like being fit. You’ll start running and working out and lifting weights (yes, really). 

The other thing: I know that you’re anxious to find someone to date and marry. I understand that, I really do, but give that some time. It will also take longer than you think it should. But: It’ll get really good. Just wait for it. If I could offer some advice—keep an open mind around September 9, 2011. Say yes to a second date. Settle down. Enjoy it. 

Mostly, teenage Hannah, know that how you choose to respond to situations and with whom you choose to invest your time are going to be huge for you. Pick the friends with whom you feel the most comfortable, with whom you are inspired, encouraged and challenged (you’ll have an opportunity to be part of the “cool crowd” in college and be friendly, but don’t become dependent on that. The friends that you keep are the friends you made those first few weeks of college.)

See you in 2012, 

Hannah 

This post is crossposted at hannahlysis.

My friend Kathy bought a Christmas Tree. 

During her last single Christmas, she decided that it was silly to hang around waiting for the husband, home and 2.3 kids to buy a real-sized Christmas tree. She wanted one then and she was going to get it because she was a grown up and she could do what she wanted! Several months later, she met the man that she would marry and with whom she would spend all her upcoming Christmases. (Christmases that now include 2 awesome, rowdy, funny, wonderful kids). 

My friend Sarah decided that she was going to move to New York, my friend Jamie started looking for houses when they met their significant others.

Me? As the title to this post alludes… I bought a chair. A wonderful, comfy, cozy butter yellow chair.

Earlier this year, after some disappointing news about a job offer I had hoped would work out, I started to think about what life would look like if I were to deepen my roots here in OKC and to learn to be content. I figured that meant a couple of things:

1) Making the place I lived a place I wanted to be and a place I wanted other people to be. 

2) Having a friend (or two) that crossed into all my worlds (Convergence, ReThread, Running, Church/work, etc.)

3) Living in such a way that I was doing the things I wanted.

So, when I went home at the end of July, after having bought a brand new computer and tickets to Europe, I bought a chair. The first piece of furniture that I bought that I really liked and was excited to have in my apartment. On the heels of booking a trip to Europe and a new computer, life was getting very exciting.

Soon after I returned from Illinois, I volunteered to be in charge of ReThread, started running and training with a friend of mine from church, and started opening myself up to more opportunities here in the city. 

And then: As timing would have it, I met someone at the end of August. Someone who was “maybe-a-someone,” until a Wednesday in October when he became “officially-a-someone,” after a few months of friendship, a shopping trip to whole foods, an I Heart Boobies bracelet, European puns, legos, and the most fun first date I’d ever had. 

Now that we’re firmly in 2012, I look back on 2011 as the year that brought me a lot of really wonderful, amazing experiences (most of which I’ve written about in my top ten list), but the best thing about 2011 has been this new, exciting relationship with the person with whom I hope to be sharing the rest of my moments.

And I owe it all to that butter yellow, comfy, cozy chair. 

Crossposted at Hannahlysis